Nadodiyin Pulambal

A Wanderer Gripes

Archive for April, 2008

I Cooked!

Posted by kovaiputhalvan on April 22, 2008

I spent the last weekend cleaning up the house. It now looks liveable and fit for human habitation. I should’ve listened to my better half ages ago, when she was telling me that a clean house is the only kind of house worth coming back to at the end of the day. It actually feels good to be home :)

I went one step further and made dinner today. For long (ever since I’ve been married, actually), I have boasted of my latent culinary skills to S, and she has been skeptical of my claims. The only evidence to the contrary that I showed her was on two or three occasions, when I dished out a Spanish Omelette, came up with an impromptu recipe for chicken breast in white sauce (it called for marinating the chicken in port wine for about a couple of hours, which was my major contribution to the recipe), and there was the time when I learnt to make Pongal and Rasam, courtesy S. The odd combination of Pongal with Rasam might sound sacrilegeous to hardcore Tams, but trust me on this – the Rasam is not the usual kind, and goes very well indeed with the Pongal. Heavenly!

Today was different – I was entirely on my own :) My culinary skills are actually not very great, and evidence of this is the unfortunate Volcano Sauce Incident that LG and I were involved with during our bachelor days. (This is a real incident, and is not a parody of the Noodle Incident from Calvin & Hobbes – I shall save the story for another day). There was every chance that the elaborate meal that I’d planned for would come out a disaster, but what ended up on the dinner table was this:

Wholewheat crackers topped with a slice of mozzarella, half a black olive, half a cherry tomato, and julienned basil.

Rice cooked with oregano and basil, combined with olives, sundried tomatoes, yellow capsicum, oregano, thyme and olive oil in a frying pan. A small lump of mozzarella went in as well, which was made to melt and blend well with the rest of the dish to give it a faux risotto-like consistency. Freshly ground pepper in a neat circle on top of the rice, and a cherry tomato with a sprig of basil right in the centre of the peppery ring.

250 ml vanilla ice cream, 200ml coconut milk, 500ml pineapple juice whipped till frothing in the mixer – a quick and dirty pina colada without the ethanol

The high point of the dinner was the pina colada impostor, it tasted just as good as a pina colada from any of the good restaurants that S and I have been to. It took me about an hour to get everything done. The rice was neither a risotto nor herb rice, but something in between. A salsa or some kind of spicy sauce would have set it off well, but I didn’t have the time (or the ingredients) to make one. We had to make do with some readymade salsa. So there we are, I’m not really a chef, merely an engineer who moonlights with the culinary arts about once a year or so. I’m hoping to increase the frequency of my moonlighting, and hopefully I get better at it :)

P.S (04 May 2008):

I visited Beijing Bites on Mosque Road two days ago, to take some food with Chinese-sounding names back home for dinner. Don’t get me wrong, I simply love Chinese food, but the way they make it at Beijing Bites these days has my sarcasm flowing like molasses. As is my usual practice when I’m waiting there for my order to materialize in neatly packed cardboard boxes on my table, I ordered a Pina Colada (sans the alcohol, sadly) to while some of my time away. It was good, and I enjoyed every slurp while it lasted. In short order, my order arrived, and so did that ugly four-letter thing, the Bill. I was livid with rage when I saw that the Pina Colada had set me back by a Pink-and-Yellow Gandhi. Fifty Bucks for that thimbleful of pineapple juice and coconut milk, offset by half a ton of ice! I resolved never to order a Pina Colada outside again, unless someone else was footing the bill.

The food that I took home was a different story altogether. The Basil Fried Rice was good, the Thai Red Prawn Curry had about four sickly looking prawns that had surely been snatched away from their mothers about a day after they’d been born. Either that or they had been prey to some genetic disease that did not let them grow beyond a quarter of an inch. The prawns had one-tenth of a carrot, half a basil leaf, and about three tiny florets from an entire forest of cauliflowers for company. The Dragon Prawns lived up to their name, but there weren’t enough of them. Shame. The Chilli Vegetable gave a whole new meaning to the word Chilli – it was as though each fragment of vegetable that went into the dish had been steeped in Tabasco Sauce for half a century – much like Kimchi, except that they don’t use Tabasco in Kimchi. I’m giving BB a wide berth – about as wide as the Great Wall of China at its widest – for a long, long time to come.

Posted in Food and Drink | 4 Comments »

Ed Lorenz no more :(

Posted by kovaiputhalvan on April 17, 2008

It is indeed a sad day for me. Edward Lorenz is dead.

I’ve never read a word of his work, and neither am I a meteorologist. However, as a fresh faced kid barely out of my teens, battling with insipid courses at engineering college, I read James Gleick’s book on Chaos, and I was held spellbound by the beauty of the Mandelbrot set. Till then, I’d not really paid much heed to programming. The fact that a figure of such intricate beauty was spawned by a simple mapping, Z \rightarrow Z^2 + c, threw me off balance, and I just had to do this for myself to see that it was for real. It took me a couple of weeks to get it right, including learning C all over again from my dog eared old copy of Gottfried’s green Schaum Series book, and more battles with learning how to use svgalib. The rewards were beyond compare. Next on the list was the Lorenz attractor, the story of which Gleick had written well in his book, and this was a real devil to get right. Mind you, all this while I learned next to nothing about chaos – I did learn a lot of programming, though! For many days, I saw the Lorenz attractor in my dreams, I just had to close my eyes to see its moth-wing like structure. A few weeks later, I was idly browsing through a bound volume of journals at the college library when to my great surprise, I caught sight of something that very strongly resembled the Lorenz attractor. What shook me up even more was that this was no matlab plot, it was a photograph of a CRO display! This wasn’t something that existed as a mere equation, to be marvelled at on computer screens – this was for real, it was produced by a circuit made up of simple op-amps, resistors, capacitors, an inductor and diodes! Thus I stumbled across the Chua circuit, and attempted to build one for myself. I tried, for I don’t remember how many months – but I didn’t get it right :) Those months that I spent trying to get the Chua circuit to work were extremely trying, but I think I learned a lot more than I thought I would. I never would have stumbled across Chua’s circuit if I hadn’t spent time trying to plot the Lorenz attractor. If not for the Lorenz attractor, I would never have appreciated the beauty of differential equations, among many other things. So it is that I am saddened by his passing away.

Oh, those were the days. I didn’t have much by the way of background or ability, but I think my enthusiasm more than made up for the lack of those two qualities. I don’t know where my enthusiasm has gone since, though. I’ve often had depressing conversations with LG about the general absence of enthusiasm that both of us perceived in ourselves. As raw young students in a two-bit engineering college, I’m sure that we were happier and achieved much more than we ever have, since. Even though the two of us went to the Institute with Tree Lined Avenues, supposedly one of the best in the country, neither of us is happy with what we did there. In my opinion, he did a much better job than I – I just frittered my time away. Then again, it wasn’t a complete waste of time, my time at the Institute has left me richer than I ever was intellectually. I also found happiness there – in the form of my soulmate :)

It’s just that I’m unable to drive myself as hard as I did in my teens and early twenties. Then I was the young kid who ran for the sheer pleasure of feeling his feet kiss the ground ever so lightly before moving on the upswing, thighs pumping in rhythm; today I’m more like the overweight middle aged man who runs because he has to lose weight. There are occasional flashes of pleasure, but these are few and far between.

Someday.

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Posted by kovaiputhalvan on April 15, 2008

(1 - e^{-2km/n}) > (1 - e^{-km/n}).

Two of something is ever so slightly worse off than one twice as big! Ha!

I’m down with strep throat, of all damn things. The doc told me it was follicular tonsillitis, and I didn’t know it was the same thing as strep. Crap. The stuff that he’s given me (a cocktail of amoxicillin and cloxacillin, and some other stuff that makes me woozy) is making me very woozy, I’m about to collapse on the keyboard. Slept like a log for the better part of the afternoon (took the afternoon off) and it looks like I’m going off on a trip to never never land again.

Later… to expound on the cryptic remark at the beginning of this post.

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Posted by kovaiputhalvan on April 7, 2008

There is such an abundance of people with a funny bone in the blogosphere that I’m considering hanging up my boots. As far as trying to write funny stuff goes, that is. I merely try to be funny where these guys are funny, effortlessly at that. I just have one Vadai piece to be proud of, but these guys are seriously Bosey-class. They’re so good there’s nothing much you can do but stand aside and doff your hat to the masters.

Sample Greatbong’s Akbar-Nama, for instance. Boka-Jodha Akbar had me in splits till my sides ached from laughter. I really don’t know much Bengali, but for once I am thankful that I’ve learned to swear in just about every other language that is extant. I’m laughing my guts out now as I write. This is one of those things that is going to have me break into hysterical belly laughter for apparently no reason at all in the middle of my workday tomorrow. My manager is probably going to send me to a shrink.

Closer home, we have Krish Ashok’s tale of the Darth Vaadhiar. Need I say more? The score deserves an Oscar for best parody of an original soundtrack. A Pulitzer for the script perhaps?

Every Bosey post is a side-splitter, and Bosey is my all-time favourite in these matters. Who would have ever come up with Vajpayee Cheetangoling Fernandes? Bosey rocks!

However, the one piece that I’ve always wished that I’d written is the Da Machi Code. Google for it, and don’t read it if the version you’re seeing doesn’t sport a movie poster. I have no idea who wrote this, but both the story and the artwork are out of this world. Salut, Maitre.

Someday :)

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Connectivity Woes, yet again.

Posted by kovaiputhalvan on April 7, 2008

Today dawned with my blood pressure spraying out of my ears.

I knew that my newly revived internet connection would soon go on the blink, the only question was how soon. That question was answered today morning. Today. I turned my trusted box on early in the morning, just to be reassured that Tata Indicom had not screwed up yet again, and to try and work from home. The DSL light glowed nice and bright, but I was having name resolution problems. Damn and blast, can’t these guys ever get it right? And just as I was about to shut the box down, I saw that the router’s LAN light went down, and I wasn’t able to even connect to the router since. No ethernet cable issues, I tried changing the cable as well.

The only glimmer of hope seems to be that this problem would’ve hit many other people, so Tata Indicom should be fixing it soon. Trouble is, there are days when soon (an integer multiple of 24 hrs.) isn’t soon enough.

The only ISPs who operate in my area seem to be BSNL, Hathway, Tata Indicom and Reliance. I don’t want to go near a mile of Reliance, they suck big time. Tata Indicom is slowly getting to be just as bad. I’m not sure about Hathway, but I think it is high time that I do my best to get hold of a BSNL connection.

Went back to the gym today, which was good. My gym visits had been pretty erratic in the past three weeks (a total of 5 times), and I hope to rectify that. I’m going to stop accepting meeting requests that clash with my gym time. Wishful thinking. Damn, I also need to complete Operation Clean House. How I wish I could run away to some deserted island with a 6″ Dob, a laptop (no connectivity, thank you), my books, pens, pencils and paper. Waaaah.

Update, 6PM: It’s back up. A tad slower than what it used to be, but it works. {heaves sigh of relief}.

Update, 11.30PM:Blood pressure spraying out of my ears again. Just looked at my internet bill online. The filthy bastards have shaved off a mere Rs. 30 from my bill for – for three weeks of downtime, complaints closed without a second look, wasted phone calls and mental agony. I’m too tired to talk to one of their call-centre bots, so I’m going imagine that I just downed a couple of big glasses of Vodka with Blue Curacao and go hit the sack. Only, I can’t get rid of this big stick with BSNL written on it that’s hitting me on the head. Ow.

Posted in Gripe, Not Worth Reading | 3 Comments »

Posted by kovaiputhalvan on April 6, 2008

Drat.

Operation Clean House is maybe 20% done, no more.

Looks like it’s going to take me at least two more days to get the house back into shape.

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1492: Conquest of Paradise

Posted by kovaiputhalvan on April 5, 2008

Back online again. The tata indicom guys finally responded to my threat of throwing their router out of my window, and came down to fix the cable. So I’m wired again. Only, they’ve mucked up some router setting and I’m not able to view any page except Google from Linux! I’m reduced to running WinBloze to surf the Web while I figure out WTF is happening re. Linux and my router. I’m mystified… DHCP works fine, the DNS seems to be OK, ping and traceroute show that I should be able to reach the remote IP addresses that I want to talk to… but – this is a big BUT – my browser doesn’t show any pages from these places! For instance, I can login to yahoo mail on WinBloze, but all my browsers under Linux just freeze on “waiting for login.yahoo.com”. For the life of me, I can’t figure out what’s happening. Oh well, I just have to give it some time and thought, I guess.

Tomorrow’s a big day, I will finally put broom to dustpan and clean up the cumulative effects of my laziness that have made themselves felt all over the house. I hope it goes well.

Update, 06 April

Just got done with breakfast at the nearby darshini (someday I will have to expound on the distinctions between Tiffin Rooms, Darshinis, Upaharas and Sagars.) and bought a couple of newspapers. I wanted to start off with Operation Clean House by 8.30, but two idlis, a vadai (of course) and a cup of coffee have brought on me such a sense of contentment that I don’t want to start the dirty work before 9.30. As also the sense of pleasant disbelief that my internet connection is finally up and running after nearly three weeks of downtime, angry phone calls and more angry phone calls.

It is essential, however, that I get started soon. Once OCH is done, I have to read up on Broder et al’s Bloom Filter paper and troubleshoot my linux installation’s google-only fixation that I described above yesterday. Later in the afternoon, I’ll catch up with The Kid who’s now making cooing noises at the fan. Damn, bachelorhood is not a patch on fatherhood – but I will have to remain in this semi-bachelor state for a few months more.

Now let’s see. DHCP seems to be working fine, I get the correct IP address and netmask – except that I see an “eth0: no IPv6 routers found” message in /var/log/messages. Running ipconfig in WinBloze yields what seem to be IPv6 addresses for DNS servers. I don’t know if this could be the problem. DNS seems to be working fine, as ping and traceroute testify. That’s the weird part – I can ping, but I can’t connect via http! The DNS server that DHCP gets is different from the last time, though. Earlier I used to get 192.168.1.254 as my DNS server, and now it’s 192.168.1.1 – I don’t think this should really be creating any problems, though… the routing tables also seem to be just fine. This is probably some extremely trivial problem, the solution for which is staring at me as I write. As usual, it will take me several cups of coffee and several hours before I slap my forehead and let an expletive escape my lips.

Update: 06 April, an hour or so later

No coffee, maybe an hour. Got the sonofabitch. {expletive}. {expletive}. {yet another expletive}. My MTU was set to 1500, lowering it to 1400 fixed the problem, am writing this from where I should be! YES! Now I can go and clean up the house in peace. O frabjous day! Callooh, Callay! I chortle in my joy. I put in the unlikely title after realizing that the default MTU on most Unix boxes is (used to be?) 1492. I shall play Vangelis as I clean. Ha!

Extract from the iptables(8) manpage:

TCPMSS
This target allows to alter the MSS value of TCP SYN packets, to control the
maximum size for that connection (usually limiting it to your outgoing inter-
face’s MTU minus 40). Of course, it can only be used in conjunction with -p
tcp. It is only valid in the mangle table.

This target is used to overcome criminally braindead ISPs or servers which block
ICMP Fragmentation Needed packets. The symptoms of this problem are that every-
thing works fine from your Linux firewall/router, but machines behind it can
never exchange large packets:

1) Web browsers connect, then hang with no data received.
2) Small mail works fine, but large emails hang.
3) ssh works fine, but scp hangs after initial handshaking.

Workaround: activate this option and add a rule to your firewall configuration
like:

iptables -t mangle -A FORWARD -p tcp –tcp-flags SYN,RST SYN \
-j TCPMSS –clamp-mss-to-pmtu

Irrelevant Afterquote:

Why is it . . . that the first thing you are reminded of by something that happens around you, is something obscure and foreign, totally unrelated to the life and languages around you?

- Pultukaku, Agastya Sen’s uncle, from English, August.

There’s a big philosophical angst-ridden post buried in those few lines above, but I’ll save that for later. That quote is self-referential, in a manner of speaking. I really have to go clean up house now! I spent close to an hour leafing through my (actually not mine) copy of Upamanyu Chatterjee’s book to get hold of that quote :)

Posted in Books, Philosophy, Quotes, Unix, stuff | Leave a Comment »